A multivitamin mix-up in Denmark

I've been living in Denmark for three months now, each colder and wetter than the last. It’s winter, and I’m not allowed to work here yet, but I fill my days as best I can.

I take Danish classes twice a week; I drink coffee and look at the cat; I go to cafes and eat pølsehorns (Danish sausage rolls). 

In an effort to combat my pølsehorn addiction, I joined a gym. I go often to enjoy the resistance machines, pump-up music and TV screens playing extreme sports. What a tranquil place. I also invested in some multivitamins.

I was at the local Føtex supermarket when I spotted them. I’ve rarely taken supplements before but I’ve rarely had this much free time. I threw a bottle in my basket and headed for the self-checkout.

I rode home, prepared an ost mad — cheese and butter on rye bread — and washed it down with a few of my new vitamins. The Bs, Cs and Ds coursed through me, replacing the need for fruit and vegetables.

Two days later, as I was doing my Danish homework, Sophie walks upstairs holding my bottle of vitamins. 

“Are these yours?” 

They sure are. Vitamins are my new self-improvement trick.

“Do you know what gravid means?”

I have no idea what it means.

“It means pregnant!” 

The bottle is emblazoned with the word GRAVID in large letters. A closer inspection of the pink label reveals a small silhouette of a pregnant woman. These multivitamins are designed to support the health and wellbeing of pregnant women and their babies. 

“Will you grow breasts?” Sophie asks. 

I return to my Danish homework.